Saturday, August 21, 2010

Extra Movie of the Week: August 20, 2010

Shoot, I forgot about a couple other movies, so I'll write em here

"Piranha 3D" and "Vampires Suck"

Note: starting next week, only ONE movie will be talked about

"Piranha 3D," starring Doc Brown from Back to the Future

A bunch of evil piranhas attack a lake. It's like Jaws.

"Vampires Suck," starring that guy from the Hangover

It's from the fellas who made Scary Movie, so if you like that kind of thing, this is right up your alley. It also makes fun of the world's worst books and movies, Twilight, so that's another good reason. Just shut your eyes whenever a male character is shirtless (in the actual movies, which I was forced to watch, the whole damn time) and you're good.

Movie of the Week: August 20, 2010

OK, I've been off for a while because of school, but I thought that since I have enough time now, I'll start a (generic) once a week segment called Movie of the Week, or the movie that looks the best.

Tie between "Lottery Ticket" and "The Switch"

"Lottery Ticket," starring Bow Wow, T-Pain, Ice Cube

If you're a movie buff like me, you'll know that it's about a dude from the projects in Atlanta (my home town!) who wins 370 million smackers in a lottery. Then everyone starts trying to steal it from him. It's got Ice Cube, who's the only chubby rapper to be an action movie star, and T-Pain, who made "I'm On A Boat" awesome. So it looks pretty good, and at least it's not "Nanny McPhee Returns"

"The Switch," starring Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston

Now, normally, you're not gonna find a rom-com on the blog because of my gender (male), but this one actually looks funny. Bateman is Jennifer Aniston's best friend who is secretly into her (it's kind of hard to see how). She's getting old, so she decides to get artificially inseminated by sticking a baster (read: big eye dropper) into her nether regions and squirting there to get her pregnant. To do this in the worst way possible, she has an entire party just so the donor can jack off into a little cup, then she'll put the stuff in a baster. It would've just worked out better if they'd just had sex, but a drunk Bateman accidentally destroys the stuff, and out of desperation jacks off into the cup. So the kid is actually his.

The kid is a paranoid, horror-movie looking kid who talks about diseases I can't even pronounce. But the kid's the best part, whoever they picked is a natural. So yes, it's a rom-com with Jennifer Aniston, but it's about really weird ways to have a kid. I promise this will be the only rom-com to pop up here.