Friday, November 12, 2010

Movie of the Week: November 12, 2010

"Unstoppable," starring Denzel Washington

Think of this like Thomas the Tank Engine on heroin and you get this, the story of a train with several cars with nuclear waste attached to it wreaking havoc in Nowhere-Ville, USA. It is effectively a missile, if the other cars are hit, the train will explode in a 40 mile long explosion...or at least that's what the commercial says. Reviews so far have been pretty good, and Denzel Washington is still cool, so compared to all the other crap coming out this week, this is the best choice you have.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Movie of the Week: November 5, 2010

"Due Date," starring Robert Downey Jr, Zach Galifianakis and Jamie Foxx

Basic story: Downey is a dude trying to get from Atlanta to LA to see the birth of his child, gets kicked off the plane, and is forced to go with Galifianakis on a road trip. Hilarity is what happens next.

That's because this movie has got the stars of Iron Man and The Hangover, along with the director of The Hangover. This means that you should probably make the safe choice between this and the probably stupid "Megamind." Watch this movie if you want to keep your soul.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Movie of the Week: September 3

"Machete," starring Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, Steven Seagal, Robert De Niro, Cheech Marin and Danny Trejo

Machete is by Robert Rodriguez, who had made some really crappy movies, the "Spy Kids" movies and "The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl." But he's also made some really badass flicks, usually with Antonio Banderas. Machete is about an ex-Mexican cop who fights against a bunch of Americans trying to get all illegal immigrants deported. The trailer looks badass, and it has Jessica Alba. 'Nuff said. Watch this damn movie.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Extra Movie of the Week: August 20, 2010

Shoot, I forgot about a couple other movies, so I'll write em here

"Piranha 3D" and "Vampires Suck"

Note: starting next week, only ONE movie will be talked about

"Piranha 3D," starring Doc Brown from Back to the Future

A bunch of evil piranhas attack a lake. It's like Jaws.

"Vampires Suck," starring that guy from the Hangover

It's from the fellas who made Scary Movie, so if you like that kind of thing, this is right up your alley. It also makes fun of the world's worst books and movies, Twilight, so that's another good reason. Just shut your eyes whenever a male character is shirtless (in the actual movies, which I was forced to watch, the whole damn time) and you're good.

Movie of the Week: August 20, 2010

OK, I've been off for a while because of school, but I thought that since I have enough time now, I'll start a (generic) once a week segment called Movie of the Week, or the movie that looks the best.

Tie between "Lottery Ticket" and "The Switch"

"Lottery Ticket," starring Bow Wow, T-Pain, Ice Cube

If you're a movie buff like me, you'll know that it's about a dude from the projects in Atlanta (my home town!) who wins 370 million smackers in a lottery. Then everyone starts trying to steal it from him. It's got Ice Cube, who's the only chubby rapper to be an action movie star, and T-Pain, who made "I'm On A Boat" awesome. So it looks pretty good, and at least it's not "Nanny McPhee Returns"

"The Switch," starring Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston

Now, normally, you're not gonna find a rom-com on the blog because of my gender (male), but this one actually looks funny. Bateman is Jennifer Aniston's best friend who is secretly into her (it's kind of hard to see how). She's getting old, so she decides to get artificially inseminated by sticking a baster (read: big eye dropper) into her nether regions and squirting there to get her pregnant. To do this in the worst way possible, she has an entire party just so the donor can jack off into a little cup, then she'll put the stuff in a baster. It would've just worked out better if they'd just had sex, but a drunk Bateman accidentally destroys the stuff, and out of desperation jacks off into the cup. So the kid is actually his.

The kid is a paranoid, horror-movie looking kid who talks about diseases I can't even pronounce. But the kid's the best part, whoever they picked is a natural. So yes, it's a rom-com with Jennifer Aniston, but it's about really weird ways to have a kid. I promise this will be the only rom-com to pop up here.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Ask me anything

Ask me anything

When was the last time you received flowers?

I'm a guy, why would I get flowers for anything?

Ask me anything