Sunday, August 30, 2009


Also, a day after I saw "Duplicity" (check out the review), I saw the movie "Milk," about the first openly gay man to get a major political office, Harvey Milk. It was interesting, though they kind of overdid it. But the most interesting (and funny) thing about that movie was that one of the homosexual characters in the movie was none other than that blond, feminine guy from the High School Musical movies. Yeah, shocking. And I thought to myself when I saw him, "his career is OVER." Because if there's one thing Disney people hate, it's homosexuals. So I feel sorry for him, but at least he wasn't in the inevitable High School Musical 4 movie that has to be coming out.

The movie itself was a very good pro-gay movie, though, with a good moral message and all that. Just saying

Movie Review "Duplicity"

"Duplicity," with Julia Roberts, Clive Owen, and Paul Giamatti

Duplicity is a good movie. It is. But it's main problem is that almost nothing in it makes sense. It constantly switches tracks so fast you're going to be confused. Usually it means going back in time to show something in the past (oddly, every time it happens it's almost exactly the same as the time before it). The plot is easy to learn, but hard to master. Julia Roberts and Clive Owen work for two rival companies (think much more eccentric versions of Microsoft and Apple), but they're also working together to find a new product one of the companies is making and create it before they do, or something. The product, once you figure out what it is, is so stupid that you'll go into hysterics. But the movie ends abruptly right after the main climax. They spend almost the entire time arguing and running around and having sex. Just like a married couple. Except that there are some problems with the movie other than that, too. The main one is Julia Roberts.

It's not her, exactly, but she's loaded so much Botox into herself that her mouth and boobs look like someone inflated them with a balloon. She tries so hard to look 10 years younger that she actually looks older. I'm not a big makeup expert. I'm just saying that she looks ridiculous. The first time you see her, in a "past" moment, you will say "What the HELL is up with her?" That's what I did. Clive Owen does a good enough job, he's cool, and he actually does the best job. Paul Giamatti is Paul Giamatti, with his typical sarcastic nasal voice and personality (if you've seen anything with him in it, you know what I mean). But he did a good job too, actually, he's in the opening credits, and the opening credits is actually the best part of the movie. Which isn't bad, because the rest of the movie is good. I may make no sense, but you will like it. Or if you don't, you can get a good laugh out of Julia Roberts' botched Botox job.

Score: 7/10

Monday, August 24, 2009

Movie Review "Race to Witch Mountain"

"Race to Witch Mountain," with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, that girl from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," and some guy i recognize from some other movies

This movie has one purpose (in my opinion): to make anyone who saw this and Hannah Montana: The Movie (me) be thankful that they saw the other one first. If the House of Mouse's attempt (and I MEAN that) at making a sci-fi thriller is worse than a movie about the current worst show on TV right now (next to "Jonas," anyway), that's not good. The worst part is that although every attempt at humor (because it's obvious when the movie is trying to make you laugh) fails miserably, because you won't laugh once during this, and also the sci-fi cliches that pop up throughout the movie, you realize that at least the damned cameraman knows what he or she was doing. The camera shots are spot on for a kids flick.

What sucks the most is Dwayne Johnson. How could a badass like him do something like this piece of crap. Yes, plenty of badasses have done the same thing he has (and when I say that, I mean Vin "Freakin' Awesome" Diesel), but the difference was that at least they got away with it. Dwayne is not going to come back from this. This is also one of the lowest grossing Disney movies ever. That little combo has probably knocked The Rock on his ass, and I doubt he's gonna get out of kids films now. Hell, they should've brought Vin Diesel back for this. And it's not that he's a bad actor, it's just that you simply can't say about 30 stupid one-liners within seconds of each other. The actors playing the alien kids (I've seen movies with the girl, AnnaSophia Robb, before, but not the guy), don't do a very good job. Especially the guy alien. Obviously put in there because he looks almost exactly like the girl, he says everything so slow and gets so intense that it's obvious that this kid is meant for this kinda crap. Even people who aren't big movie people will notice that. Too bad, though. This really could've been the movie that changed my opinion of disgust towards Disney. The plot is SO predictable that you already know it even before you see the Rock for the first time. So please, unless you're either younger than 4 or like crappy films, stay away. Because Hannah Montana is kicking this movie's ass.

Score: 3/10

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I Hate Mac Ads

Hey, everyone, been a while, but school has started and I haven't seen a lot of new movies lately (except for the horrible "17 Again"). But I have another Flash animation to show you, called "I Hate Mac Ads," by Bobert-Rob, which makes fun of those stupid Mac ads on TV now, with Justin Long as the Mac and some balding nerdy guy as the PC. However, this one has a twist, which makes it hilarious. And also that everything said in this is completely accurate. So check out the Flash, which is Be warned, like the last one, this one has some pretty bad language, but check it out, because I said so.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Movie Review "17 Again"

"17 Again," with Zac Efron

The movie is very simple. Guy from "Friends" has a horrible life, guy falls in river/tornado thing, guy turns into Zac Efron, Zac Efron saves his own relationship with his kids and wife. Very simple, you don't have to be a genius to understand the plot. Now, here's the positives and negatives. The positive is that this may have been a decent film, because it does have a few very rare moments that are actually laugh out loud funny (Hint: nothing funny in this movie has anything to do with Zac Efron). The negative is that what normally may have been a really cliched romance film turns into a teen chick flick because Zac Efron's in it.

Because it's High School Musical if everyone but Zac Efron was killed by Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers. He dances, he plays basketball, he spouts his inspirational "Disney kiss-ass" crap the whole movie. His teen self supports many things teens wouldn't do at all, like abstinence, going after older women (his adult self's ex-wife), and out of date insults. The problem is, Zac hasn't left his High School Musical days, because his character is a mirror image of the one from this movie. He's the ultra-popular guy who's actually nice too, which doesn't exist in real life. What sucks the most was that he was obviously cast for this to get a larger teen girl audience. This movie has nothing unique, nothing different, and when it tries something unique and different it doesn't work (including a romantic plot twist that will make the one from Back to the Future look tame). In the end, it's just Zac Efron and a bunch of other people in stupid romantic situations. And in the end, if you're not a teen girl, you are going to hate this. Because I did, and any movie that makes Twilight and Hannah Montana: The Movie look like Academy Award winners needs some really bad stuff.

Score: 3/10

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Me Vs. One of Zac Efron's Movies

That's right, Zac Efron, the current king of teen girl movies. Because my parents decided to exchange from Blockbuster Online, the actually very funny "Fired Up!" for "17 Again" at the store (to rent, thank God). So the review for that piece of crap is tomorrow. Also, school started up for me, so I'm very busy. Just please pray for my soul. Thanks a lot, and God speed.


Thursday, August 6, 2009

Movie Review "The Soloist"

"The Soloist," with Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx

The Soloist is about a journalist who meets a homeless musician who is schizophrenic (hope I spelled it right). That's about it. It's slightly more complex then that, but that is the basic plot.

But that doesn't mean it isn't a good movie. It's very well done, though there is a few scenes that REALLY made the movie a little bit too long. But everyone does a good enough job in this. Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx do the best job, naturally. Foxx's character is so effed up that he brings a shopping cart filled with garbage everywhere, wears crazy looking clothes (that would make Tyra Banks scream), and generallly speaks very fast mumbling the whole time. And somehow creates a good character. What's funny is though they tried to center Jamie Foxx in this, it ends up being Robert Downey Jr. who gets more screen time. It's obvious that he was only in this because of the one-two punch of the (both very good movies by the way) "Iron Man" and "Tropic Thunder." But he does a really good job here too. But since the movie bombed (and since the scenes taking place at a homeless shelter in LA are both scary and accurate at the same time), they really should have called this "Even Iron Man Likes Homeless Folks." Because though this movie is very good, it's just whoring a series of LA Times articles by a guy who just was writing about his experiences with his homeless friend and how his life was approved by it. And hell, it IS a true story, although it's a true story where every character in it magically de-ages about 10 or 20 years. Because the real people Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx portray are both in their sixties at least. They do a good job, but they look too young.

But overall, it's a good movie, for those people who enjoy "real cinema." As dramas go, it's good, though a little messed up sometimes.

Score: 8/10

Tuesday, August 4, 2009


This is indirectly related to my last post, and I know it's really soon after the last post too, but I have an account with the same site that the "tWHYlight" animation by Bobert-Rob is on. So I'm posting a link to it which shows that I referred you to it if you click on it (or type it). It's Just type it in so I'll feel better. Thanks.

Flash Animation

A new thing I'm going to do on this blog is to put links to Flash Animation that I've seen and really like. The first one I'm putting on it is a spoof of the movie "Twilight" (that crappy girl vampire flick) called "tWHYlight" by Bobert-Rob. the site is I promise the site doesn't have any viruses or stuff like that, I've been going on it for years.

WARNING: It does have some pretty bad language, so if you don't want to see that, then just ignore this post. People who like Twilight won't like this, also (especially because there's a few really funny insults towards Robert Pattison, the guy who's the vampire in the movie in case you didn't already know that). Hope you'll like it, and remeber that I DIDN'T MAKE THIS, so if you have positive feedback give it to Bobert-Rob, the guy who made this.

Hopefully I can add more stuff to this blog soon. Who knows what I'm putting on this thing next.