Monday, August 24, 2009

Movie Review "Race to Witch Mountain"

"Race to Witch Mountain," with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, that girl from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," and some guy i recognize from some other movies

This movie has one purpose (in my opinion): to make anyone who saw this and Hannah Montana: The Movie (me) be thankful that they saw the other one first. If the House of Mouse's attempt (and I MEAN that) at making a sci-fi thriller is worse than a movie about the current worst show on TV right now (next to "Jonas," anyway), that's not good. The worst part is that although every attempt at humor (because it's obvious when the movie is trying to make you laugh) fails miserably, because you won't laugh once during this, and also the sci-fi cliches that pop up throughout the movie, you realize that at least the damned cameraman knows what he or she was doing. The camera shots are spot on for a kids flick.

What sucks the most is Dwayne Johnson. How could a badass like him do something like this piece of crap. Yes, plenty of badasses have done the same thing he has (and when I say that, I mean Vin "Freakin' Awesome" Diesel), but the difference was that at least they got away with it. Dwayne is not going to come back from this. This is also one of the lowest grossing Disney movies ever. That little combo has probably knocked The Rock on his ass, and I doubt he's gonna get out of kids films now. Hell, they should've brought Vin Diesel back for this. And it's not that he's a bad actor, it's just that you simply can't say about 30 stupid one-liners within seconds of each other. The actors playing the alien kids (I've seen movies with the girl, AnnaSophia Robb, before, but not the guy), don't do a very good job. Especially the guy alien. Obviously put in there because he looks almost exactly like the girl, he says everything so slow and gets so intense that it's obvious that this kid is meant for this kinda crap. Even people who aren't big movie people will notice that. Too bad, though. This really could've been the movie that changed my opinion of disgust towards Disney. The plot is SO predictable that you already know it even before you see the Rock for the first time. So please, unless you're either younger than 4 or like crappy films, stay away. Because Hannah Montana is kicking this movie's ass.

Score: 3/10

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