Saturday, June 27, 2009

Michael Jackson is Dead and the Movie Review of "Confessions of a Shopalolic"

Michael Jackson died on Thursday. I admit that I've never been a fan, since I was born after he was famous (the mid to late 90s), and I liked most of that South Park episode where him and one of his kids moves to South Park (he puts on a fake mustache, and calls himself "Mr. Jefferson" and Cartman falls in love with him), but him dying not only was interesting and weird, but scared the hell out of me.

For one thing, he was 50, which is old, but not old enough to die. I think most people die in their 70s to 80s or even 90s now, and since he died of cardiac arrest, according to what I've heard, so...damn, he must not have been eating good or something. Even worse, he was preparing for a concert tour in London. That really sucks. Oh, and he died on the same day as Farrah Fawcett.

He was a crazy bastard, that was for sure. His fans are some of the weirdest anyone had ever seen. He looked weird, acted weird, did weird stuff, got all those funny surgeries, married Elvis' daughter (his kids are the grandkids of Elvis and the kids of Michael Jackson, my God), divorced her, had that theme park behind his house, went to court twice (I think), had Triumph the Insult Comic Dog sent by Conan O'Brien to 1 of the trials and angered an entire crowd of his fans. So no, I'm not upset that he's dead, but it's odd no longer having some crazy pop singer to make fun of (and his songs aren't that bad for the 80s)

I'm going to put in a movie review because my parents got "Confessions of a Shopalolic" out of Blockbuster. And no, I didn't like it.

"Confessions of a Shopaholic," with Isla Fisher, John Goodman, Joan Cusack, and Will Ferrell's "wife" in Talladega Nights

This movie is for dumb blondes. Or women. Or just about anyone who likes clothes shopping. Isla Fisher is some brain damaged redhead (the character is named Rebecca Bloomwood, which sounds like a redneck name or something) who's obsessed about shopping. She also has hallucinations about the mannequins in the shop windows and inside the shops advertising items. So she splurges and gets into debt. Suddenly she can't buy anything. Damn! She also wants to go into a fashion magazine called Alette run by some European woman type (can't place the accent). To do that, she gets into a sister magazine called Successful Savings . It's ironic as hell, and her emo punk friend (who's engaged, and getting a ritzy as hell bridal dress though she lives in a crappy apartment, crappier than real crappy apartments) even says (I'm paraphrasing) "Rebecca Bloomwood is working for a magazine on how to save money?" So anyway, she and her emo friend go over her bills, lots of them, and get drunk. Rebecca writes an angry letter to the savings magazine (this happened before she got the job) and an article to the fashion one. They get switched, and she gets the job at the savings magazine. She hides in some dresses to get the angry letter from the fashion magazine. She then falls for her new boss, who's some messy British guy. The whole movie is confusing, so the rest is a whirlwind of clothes and shoes and so much woman stuff that even most women will not like this.

Though Will Ferrell's "wife" from Talladega Nights (best movie ever) is in this, she sucks. She's this pale ass modelwho falls for Rebecca's boss. That's it. No one does a good job, and Rebecca is really a hopeless romantic, and even stupider than actual blondes. You may think she's funny, but you don't like her. Even in the climax, where the guy in charge of her bills humilates her on live television (yes, that actually happens), your only comment is "the solution is, stupid, take a gun, and put it to your head so this movie will END." Oh, and one of the actors from the TV show The Office is in it, as a self help guru for shopaholics. And that the same guy who made Pirates of the Caribbean made this. Yay.

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