Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Movie Review "Hannah Montana: The Movie"

"Hannah Montana: The Movie," starring Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana (sarcasm intended)

Yeah, I was forced to see this today by my cousins (both of them are girls, by the way), and they would've killed me (literally) if I didn't. My older cousin claimed it was an awesome movie, I made the typical guy response of saying it was horrible. I was about 3/4 right.

Since I have seen snippets of the show sometimes (when I'm really bored), from the first moment of the movie i saw (a British tabloid editor is demanding that her paparazzi find some dirt on Hannah Montana), it is automatically better than the show (which sucks ass). The movie doesn't have a linear plot (Hannah Montana does a concert to save her hometown being turned into a shopping mall or something like that), the characters are not likable (except for Miley Cyrus, I guess), and if you're a guy like me, you're not really gonna care what happens.

But if you're a girl, on the other hand, this is the second coming of Christ. If you like the show, you'll sure as hell like the movie. It has songs (less than High School Musical, thank God), attempts at comedy, and even some romance (between Miley and some redneck farmer guy she knew as a kid). Hannah Montana fans will be overjoyed.

But going back to my previous point, if you're not a Hannah Montana, you won't like this. At all.

But being fair about it, it's not as bad as I thought. Most of the time it's bearable. Miley Cyrus does a good enough job (better than anyone else, anyway), and hell, she's cute, so I can forgive her for the really bad role she's in. The worst part is the script. Whoever wrote it obviously was either being controlled by Disney (possible), or a total idiot (possible). Either way, whoever wrote the damn script should lose his job, because it was one of the worst scripts in a movie. it also had cameos from Tyra Banks (who has a shoe fight with Hannah Montana), and Taylor Swift (who randomly shows up in a concert hall and sings something). The songs look just like music videos, quick point. It is funny in a couple moments. But though you won't hate the originally characters, you'll hate the new ones. And the "Hoedown Throwdown" and "The Climb" songs are good. But it's the same old Hannah Montana crap, and if you don't like that, well it's too bad.

Score: it's kinda hard to give a score for such a divided movie like this, so here goes:

For most guys, and girls who don't like Hannah Montana: 0/10

For girls who like Hannah Montana: 10/10

My score: 6/10 (Miley Cyrus gets a 8/10 because she really did do a good job)

Note: the guy who plays her love interest (his name is Lucas Till) was a classmate of my dad's receptionist (they went to a high school in Georgia). That's cool in a really odd way.

Oh, and my cousins saw the honest-to-God Hannah Montana in Savannah, Georgia, filming. That makes me jealous because I've never seen a celebrity in my life

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