Sunday, September 20, 2009

Video Game Review "Wii Sports Resort" and "The Beatles: Rock Band"

Yeah I haven't seen a lot of new movies since Star Trek (though I want to see Jennifer's Body starring Megan Fox, but I probably won't), so I'm gonna start reviewing video games and very rarely, books. I plan to review that new Dan Brown book (He wrote The Da Vinci Code) soon. But in the meantime, I'm reviewing two video games I got for the Wii (yeah I know it sucks).

"Wii Sports Resort" by Nintendo

This review isn't gonna be long. There isn't much to say about this game. It comes with an attachment that makes the controller LONGER (think the Wii version of Viagra, hint hint), and makes it WORK better. It's stupid, because It only works about 20% better when you actually use it. Everything in it is easy, so easy that I watched a 3 year old successfully beat the hardest minigame in the "Swordplay" part by swinging his hands like an idiot. If you're a gamer and/or nerd, don't get this. But that doesn't mean it isn't fun. It is, if you're bored as hell. Most of the games are fun, but don't even try basketball and a couple other games, since a few are literally impossible to play. Archery is fun-ish, so is swordplay, except Swordplay is moronically easy. Skydiving is fun-ish too, but there are some fun moments in it. All in all, a great "anyone can play it" game. But not good for anything else. Madden this ain't

Score: 7/10

Since the graphics don't really matter to me in most cases, I don't care that they suck for a game. Just saying, but the Wii's graphics suck in most cases anyway.

"The Beatles: Rock Band," by MTV Games (could be EA, I don't know)

If you are a die-hard Beatles fan, this is the Messiah of everything. Really, because not only is it fun, but it also has so much Beatles stuff that it will make the fans faint. I'm a casual fan of the Beatles myself (since they're the only band before the 70s that doesn't suck), and the facts were interesting enough. But it makes all that collecting those fans did completely pointless, since it has virtual versions of EVERYTHING Beatles. It's much easier than Guitar Hero, and funner, too, though Guitar Hero is more accessible. The songs are fun enough to play, though every time you do anything BUT actually play a song it tries to connect to the Internet. It's alright, but annoying. The Beatles: Rock Band's main problem isn't any of that though. It's that the songs' visual stuff is messed up.

It really depends on when the song was done. The older the song, the more normal the visual stuff looks. In every Guitar Hero or Rock Band performance, it shows the characters (in this case John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr) performing it. Nice and simple. But in their later songs (when they were on drugs), the creators of this game tried to visualize their later music. It looks fine, but it's just weird beyond belief. Yellow submarines, tie-dye backgrounds, Ringo Starr with a parrot mask on, the later songs were messed up already, but the visual representation of it is freaky and disturbing. But other than that, it's good.

Just pretend that you don't feel like you're on crack. Sometimes.

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